Sometimes you get the privilege of
reflecting back on an intense time of life and seeing the beauty you couldn’t
see when you were IN it! That’s what I can say of our time ‘doing transition
ministry’. At the time, we didn’t call our time of ‘bringing in an 18 year old
girl who was un-reconciled with her family into ours’, ‘ministry’. I called it
loving someone who needed a family. It was a little crazy, but it was GOOD.
Our dear ‘girl’ was entering her senior
year of high school, not quite making ‘the grade’. In addition, figuring out
how to be independent or being part of a family was not familiar. Keep in mind,
we had NOT yet parented a child in this stage/age of life! Did we know what we
were in for? NO! That’s God’s goodness though; we didn’t have to know. We just
needed to obey and follow Jesus!
I could write a novel on our year
with this daughter of God. What matters most was how Jesus SHOWED UP FRONT AND
CENTER. Like few other things we have experienced, our family was in a
perpetual ‘missional living state’ that we weren’t use to. This precious ‘girl’
was learning what a family (as imperfect as we are) looked like. She was
learning she mattered and was loved by a God that she didn’t know existed. Our
time helping her transition to her own was filled with realizations and
repentance. Our marriage solidified in ways parenting our other children never
had. Our children learned that life in the West End of Richmond,VA was so small
in comparison to what other kids knew. It was even the beginning of our journey
to adopting our sons :)
The hours, conversations, prayers
and energy poured into her were not wasted. When we ‘corrected’ her, she later
said “thank you, no one had ever cared.” When we helped her study to pass
classes or advocate for her with her school, she grew in confidence. When we
had her through each holiday and celebrated in our ways, sometimes it was so
foreign. When she learned to drive, and we signed her up on our insurance and
drove off alone in our little truck, words can’t explain. When we helped her
learn what work, saving and giving were about, it was hard! When she began to pull
back from her family and separate herself from their problems, words can’t
explain. That said, when we attended her graduation and saw her receive her
diploma, which no one in her family had done, words can’t explain.
Now, when she calls or texts for miscellaneous
reasons or asks for advice or shares that she’s engaged, words still can’t
explain. These ‘events’ were not the norm for her. We can’t possibly understand
what a child feels, who has faced things that most of us never will. We also
can’t underestimate the redeeming power of our Lord! I wish that we could be
there for her more. I wish that we understood her world. Regardless,
I am confident in THE ONE who knows her best and continues to be with
her.
So why do I share with you about our
year with this girl? Because YOU TOO have a chance to enter into life/lives of
youth who are transitioning out of Foster care who need mentors and THE living
hope. They most likely will NEVER have a family to call their own. Do I think
your experience will be the same as ours? No! Do I think the same Lord will BE
WITH YOU and SHOW YOU HIMSELF? YES! THAT my friends, is why he calls US, HIS
CHURCH and body, into using the little ‘seeds of faith’ to let HIM show us
MORE!!
JOIN our Missional Community Group
(MCG) as we hear from a Henrico DSS staff and some older foster youth THIS Wednesday, April 18, at WEPC (6-7:15), Rm 35. Consider...
By Cindy Schwarz, group member,
adoptive mom
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