Broken World

Ever since last Sunday, my mind has been churning. Orphan Sunday and life have done a doozy on my heart this week. I've been thinking and thinking. Torn between trying to process and wanting to stuff my thoughts down. It didn't help that Darin was away most of the week on business so I didn't have a processing partner.  Or someone to talk good sense into me when I was up too late scouring orphan care websites and blogs!

Up until about 4 years ago, I don't think I ever thought about the orphan. How sad is that? Perhaps I was too busy thinking about myself. Then God put it on my radar front and center. I learned more. I read more. I listened and thought I had it figured out.

Until I stepped foot into Irina's orphanage in Ukraine and my eyes were opened in new ways. The faces of the children who ran after us begging for candy will forever be etched in my brain. The names Katya, Anya, Stas, little Irina, Luba, Sasha, Lena, Vika and Aloyna are uttered in regular prayers. I can still smell the sweet little girl with cross eyed blue eyes that I had the privilege to hold and pray over.  She was wearing a blue fuzzy sleeper and couldn't bend her body. She had severe disabilities due to alcohol abuse in utero. I think this brokenness grieves my heavenly Father. It wasn't meant to be this way.

As we near the one year mark of adopting Irina, I can't help but look back. Irina is amazing and she has come a long way. She has had a lot of hurdles to leap over as she has learned for the first time how to be in a loving family. She is discovering that we are worthy of her trust and that we will care for all her physical needs. For 10 years she survived. Now she is realizing that she can LIVE.

However, as I consider her future I've found myself grappling with a new emotion. I feel angry. Without the brokenness of this world, Irina would be in a loving family with her birth parents in her homeland. She would have been fed, clothed, and CHERISHED. She would not have been abandoned. Isn't that how God really intended families to be? I don't doubt for one minute that God knew we would have the opportunity to step in and show Irina real love, BUT she still has so much more to face as she overcomes the wounds of her past. It's not fair.

A new compassion is being uncovered in my heart for my daughter. A new compassion is being uncovered in my heart for the orphan. The reality is that Irina has new opportunities that MANY other orphans will NEVER have, especially the older kids and the kids with disabilities. How can I dare complain? How can I take even a moment for granted? I long for heaven.

Oh Lord Jesus, keep my heart soft for ALL your children. Come quickly, Lord Jesus, come.

By Jill Smith, group member, adoptive mom

Orphan Sunday, Serving Together

Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Oprhans

This Orphan Sunday, many from our church family are living out Psalm 82:3,"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed." It's exciting to see folks moved by the testimony shared last week and enthusiastic to give towards our mattress drive. We'd love to see God reveal HIS love for the orphan, as they give. 

For more about Orphan Sunday go here.

Dream Big Mattress Drive

"Each November, thousands of events will echo across America and around the globe, all sharing a single goal: that God’s great love for the orphan will find echo in our lives as well. Orphan Sunday is your opportunity to rouse church, community and friends to God’s call to care for the orphan." - orphansunday.org - An Initiative of the Christian Alliance for Orphans

Please join WEPC orphan care ministry, Love on a Mission, on Orphan Sunday (Nov.2), by thanking God for your family and praying that God will bring hope to the children waiting for families.

There are close to 5300 children in Virginia's Foster Care System. Beginning Nov 2 through Nov 23rd, money will be collected for the "Dream Big" mattress drive for United Methodist Family Services. UMFS provides many services to children in the local foster care system including a therapeutic transition home for children here in Richmond. Donations can be made to WEPC, please include “mattresses’ in the memo. 

Twin sheet sets and waterproof mattress covers would also be appreciated. A collection table will be set up in the gallery through Nov. 23. 

There will be a representative from UMFS in the gallery at WEPC on Nov 2 to answer any questions folks might have about foster care training or respite care training. More information can be found on their website umfs.org

Orphan Sunday Recap

The turnout for our Orphan Sunday event was so encouraging.  One of the things that was talked about is the fact that adopting is NOT the only way to care for orphans.  Each and every person who has prayed for us and for MJ, or brought us a meal when we returned home from Congo, or emailed to see how we were doing, or stopped to give her a high five and a smile has been involved in caring for orphans.  It would be ten times as difficult for us if we didn't have such amazing support and love from friends and family.  There are so many opportunities to care.  Take time to consider where your gifts lie and see how they can bless an orphan or someone pursuing adoption, fostering, or hosting.

Orphan Sunday- Nov 4, 2012

God invites us to join with him in caring for the fatherless.

Everyone is welcome on SUNDAY, NOV. 4TH AT NOON.

Come for orphan care myth busting and hear how God has met us.

Family-style chili and fixins will be provided.

Childcare for ages Kindergarten and under, will follow after lunch.

Click image below for Google doc sign up.

Cliff Jumping at Casa Grande

I didn’t know on November 6th, when I woke up that my entire world was about to be turned upside down.  I was just sad that my extra hour of sleep didn’t mean that I awoke refreshed.  Nope.  Extra hour and still exhausted.  But today was Orphan Sunday and our Orphan Care Group was hosting an Orphan’s Breakfast of porridge and water and also a panel regarding all things orphan care related—mission trips, fostering, adopting, praying, and coming alongside those doing all those.  And we made T-shirts for our ministry so that if any folks had questions, they could just grab someone in a navy Love on a Mission shirt.  (And yes, our kids have them too and they are super super cute.)

So I’m sitting at the table at church, next to Sloan, my husband, stirring up my watery porridge and feeling bad that I’m also drinking a hot cocoa which I’m certain orphans don’t get, when during the panel discussion  Sloan leans over and says, “Hey, what do you think about adopting a special needs kid from China?”  In my mind, I thought, really?  Really?  All this time Sloan has talked about how he had talked to Jesus and that we were done and I got on board with that.  And unlike before Gracie, my daughter, I don’t have this ache for another kid.  We’re done.  Instead I just said, “Shhhh…Cindy is talking.”  And then minutes later I whispered back to him, “What are you talking about?  Are you for real?”  He nodded that yes, he was for real.

I rolled my eyes. Because that’s what faithful Christians do when their husbands say crazy things like “Hey, let’s adopt internationally” on a random Sunday morning like it was a suggestion for a new place to eat lunch.  How about Ruby Tuesdays?  How about a Chinese kid?

So after the service, you know, right after I’d heard all these people talk about how God had blessed them overwhelmingly through their adoptions, right after I’d heard a teenage girl talk about how the sacrifices she had to make to bring home her two Ethiopian little brothers were nothing in comparison to how she has seen God work in her life, right after I’d stood up and talked about how most corporations have adoption subsidies and the $13,000 government adoption tax credit, I was still laughing at how ridiculous Sloan was.  Ha, ha.  Chinese baby.

So I went to my sister and told her how funny Sloan was.  She didn’t laugh.  She told me to prayerfully consider what my husband said, seeing as how God had obviously done a 180 in his heart.  Meanwhile, Sloan was talking to a woman who brought her daughter home from China about 18 months ago.

Fast forward to lunch.  On the way to our usual Sunday spot, Casa Grande, Sloan and I talked about the possibility of adoption. I felt like we had a girl and a boy and that we were done. That I didn’t have the urge like before Gracie.  I wasn’t yearning for another child.  That I wanted to replace the rotting siding on our house and get some landscaping instead of just a mudpit for a backyard.  But that I also couldn’t honestly say I was opposed to the idea.  And still Sloan said, “Please pray about it.  I’m confident this is what God has for us. We can wait until you’re off the Bethany board.”  To which I said, “Well, if we are doing it, we are doing it now.  International adoptions can take forever, so I wouldn’t want to put it off any longer. So I could defer my position on the board while we went through the process and then once our child was home, I could rejoin the board. But I just honestly don’t know what to say.  Most days I can’t even take care of the two we have.  Hello?  Did you read my blog post the other day?  We never have milk.  I’m not saying no, but I can’t make this decision today.  I feel a bit blindsided by this.”  So we decided to both continue praying about it and then revisit the conversation at the end of the month when we went out on a date for my birthday.

And then, out of the blue, or possibly because he overheard us talking, Henry my son said, “We need 4.”  “Four what?” I asked.  “Four kids.  You know, another brother and sister.  I want to get bunk beds and share a room with a brother who doesn’t have a Mommy and Daddy.”

I looked at Sloan.  “Did you do this?”  He smirked and assured me that no, he did not prompt Henry to tell me he needed more siblings.  Again I said, “Give me until the end of the month.  Can you do that?”

But then something odd happened.  Sloan took Henry to go to the bathroom and it was just Grace and me.  I watched her as she dipped her chips in the salsa and then licked it off—never really eating the chips, and yet, requiring a new chip for each dip.  There was a mountain of cast offs next to her that had piled up while her Daddy wasn’t there to eat them.  And I saw that if I had stalled in my fears of the unknown the last time Sloan was prepared to jump off a cliff at God’s urging, I’d be missing out on her.  And all the countless ways God has shown up in our lives because of that one tiny measure of obedience.  I thought about how we initially only wanted to show our profile to white birthmothers and how God kept pursuing my fearful heart.  Wouldn’t it just be easier if I just heeded His call the first time?  Isn’t first time obedience what I keep having meetings on the steps with Henry about?  Do I really have the energy to keep running from God when it is so clear what He has for us?  And then I thought about how special needs orphan means everything from eczema to spina bifida to birthmarks to clef pallets to being born addicted to drugs.  That special needs in China was not the same thing as special needs in the US.  And that I'd never met a parent of a special needs kid who regretted loving their child.

Then, suddenly, I could vividly envision a little Asian boy with glasses running through my kitchen.

And an orphan with a face is hard to ignore.

As Sloan slid back into our booth, I said, “I’m on board.  Let’s do this.”

“Are you sure?”

“No.  Yes.  Well, I’m scared.  Mainly of losing sleep and what it’ll mean to add to this family and how I really did want some landscaping.  I mean, we are done.  But there is room.  We can provide a family to an orphan.  Of that I’m sure.  And I’m sure of you.  And I’m sure of God.”

“We’re really doing this aren’t we?” Sloan smiled.

“Yes, I guess we are.”

And then I grabbed my husband’s hand and jumped.  Join us in prayer as we free fall into God’s next journey for our family.

By Elizabeth Phillips, group member, adoptive mom, and writer at Elizabethtown-blog.com.